I've Got a Thinking Problem

My name is Davis MacLeod Haines. I was born and raised in Alabama, I live in Chicago, I am in a band called whysowhite (whysowhite.com) and I believe in Love. This is my mind.

Posts tagged love

Feb 10


Lovers and Colors,

after almost two and a half years of exploring, evolving, playing, praying, creating, trying, Loving and dying,

whysowhite has released our debut album

you can grab a download for whatever you got at


Sweet Dreams and thank You



Dec 16

5 Days More: a Reflection on Love

Through tears, I stood staring with a cautious distance at the news from Connecticut. I heard something was up, but consciously avoided more information for Fear of finding out what it was. Horrified to discover the age of the victims, I wept watching mothers, students  and teachers desperate and overwhelmed by the gravity of their reality. My mind travels quickly to all of the children I know, their hearts, and the ones who Love them. I think about my time as a student of education and all of my friends who are teaching today. I hug my mom, who is crying on the chair next to me, the way she did that September day 11 years ago, and I tell her I Love her. She tells me she Loves me and to stop watching, Honey. I kept my eyes glued as a first grade teacher explained to a journalist that she brought her 15 kids into a small bathroom and kept them quiet and “just kept telling them that I Loved them and even though I wasn’t sure if teachers are supposed to do that, I didn’t care because if they weren’t going to make it, at least the last thing that they heard was that someone Loved them instead of gunshots.” 

I had just spent an hour soaking in a hot bath listening to a radio program. The guest was a Unitarian/Universalist chaplain for the game wardens of Maine. Her state trooper husband had died a few years earlier at 39 years of age. She was speaking of miracles and how they are not exclusively positive. God, or the Universe, conspiring in unexpected and random ways can be the set up for either a tragedy or a success. In other words, miracles are “acts of God” whether they are happy or not. Equally as unfathomable. She went on to explain that she understood God to be Love, and when asked where the God is in a tragedy like a missing child or a homicide, she said that God is the Love of the people brought together to help search for the child, or to hold and comfort those in despair. God is the Love that brings a wife to the side of her husband’s deathbed and gives her the strength to sing their song. It affected me deeply and, perhaps cosmically, prepared me for the information that would set the tone of my night.

Crying still, I attempted to move forward and drive to the theatre, though my heart was ten feet behind me, dragging from the weight. I make a call to my pops to tell him I Love him. He cries with me and we share our gratitude for Life and our opportunity to share It. He reminds me that part of my job as a performer to lift Spirits. Emotional still, I call my brother Jove in an attempt to make sense of my shock. An ear in a time of need, Jove assists me back to my center and with clarity.

Arriving at the theatre, I see all of my cast-mates, many of which a children similar in age to the victims. I became increasingly more aware of the blessing I have as an Artist in a world where I can co-exist as a member of a cast of performers filled with big beautiful young hearts. I approach our director and dialogue briefly about the day’s news. Our eyes welling, he lets me know that he intends to have a conversation about it with the full company. We sit down with everyone and begin to have a discussion about the events, agreeing that a moment of silence before the show would be appropriate. I made a point to tell the 75 members of the youth ensemble that I Love them and I am grateful to be working with them. 

We had an incredible show, very present, though bittersweet and I drove home feeling filled with a beauty that was old and new. Love that day came in a new shade. There was little about the day that was worth celebrating, but Love was an element worth emphasizing.

Despite the pain, the one thread through it all was the acts of Love of the teachers, the Love between family, the Love and gratitude for Life, the expression of Love through theatre, and the Love of the world watching.

Through Love, we are Free.

Dedicated to the lives of those lost to violence and the lives of those still with us.



Aug 21
There’s a Flute in my Femur
This X-Ray was taken a year ago Friday.

There’s a Flute in my Femur

This X-Ray was taken a year ago Friday.

Jul 13

The Approach

In the wake of the anniversary of my accident, some Light:

My band released our first single.

Check it out Here:


Chicago. Funk. Love.

Jul 11

One Year

I tried to pretend that this day wasn’t special, at least any more than any other day, but I couldn’t. I’ve been stronger than I thought with my emotions, fighting through the pain they caused my heart as I had the screw in my hip, the buckle in my knee, or the recent Caesarian section-like incision I received from the removal of my pelvic plate, but my levee broke today.

I had voluntarily blinded myself to the reality of my emotional pain, part out of necessity, part out of pride, but regardless, the pain remained, unengaged. However, the significance of this particular day forced me to right myself to my truth, and, facing it, I found a deeper strength. A strength I already had; stronger than any strength I could muster:


It was this strength, the pure, innate, and Universal strength of Love that kept me alive in the face of death a year ago today. For this, I can’t take credit. It was already inside me when I got here. It guided me through all other obstacles in the past, on that day, and since. Love gave me a reason to believe that what I was experiencing was an opportunity to better understand Life.

Whatever alternative methods I was using to find strength through my surgeries and therapies, however seemingly powerful, fell short. They would crack at the foundation, any “progress” quickly tumbling down the mountain of my own creation. Nothing as surefooted and deeply rooted as Love could help me now.

So I Live and let Love.

And it is this same Love, this same ever-burning Light I found in myself that I see in others; a reminder that I am not alone. We all share this Light, this Love, this God, this Strength. And we experience it together through Life: the greatest gift.

And Art, my Angel, giving me a way to give the gift back.

Today I give thanks for Life by using Love, my guide, to create Art, my gift.


Davis MacLeod Haines

Jun 17

Love Thy Father

Love thy Father as thyself

For where would I be without he?

His wisdom rich, his clarity

astounding me.

So, too, his positivity

Each day a new leaf, a new chance

Each night a new dance

Spinning in new directions

As he opens himself to change

Never compromising his heart

of wide range.

Yes, he is strange, but enthused

He’ll tell you a joke to keep you amused

Taking you in, he listens with eyes

Content with himself, no longer he tries

He found God in the flies

He’ll sing you a song if you’re lucky to hear it

No fear, just the tune and your ear

And a smile

Love thy Father as thyself

For his gifts he has given you,


For my Father.



May 23

Believe and Be Love

Try not to conceive Love with your mind,

But rather, feel Love in your heart.

Your body will thank you,

And your mind, at ease, will be Free.

When you begin to let Love

Fill your body and soul like a

Glass pitcher filled with sweet lemonade,

You will find the courage to

Believe and Be Love,

Refreshing each who sip from the

Over-spillage of your Spiritual fulfillment.



Jan 25

Wake Up With Me

Tomorrow, when I wake up, I will officially be one week from the first of my last two major surgeries. This surgery, however, is much larger than the second. I am finally going to have my colostomy reversed.

Part of the aftermath of the accident was that I was going to live with a temporary colostomy (Wikipedia link for those interested). I had some organ damage in addition to the pelvic and femur fractures, but my family kept it to themselves out of respect for me.

Well, I am happy to tell y’all that I went to the trauma clinic today and my surgery is in fact next Thursday! Groundhog’s Day! I am so pumped!

I’ll be in the hospital for a few days afterwards until I am released to recover for about a month at home (and it better be a month, ‘cause I’m going to SXSW even if I show up like this). Once I heal/once I’m back from SXSW, they can do the less severe pelvic plate removal. Once I’m healed a week or so from that, I’m headed to Chicago for some unfinished business….

Now here’s where you come in.

Read More

Jan 3

20 + 11 = 31, a List of Favorites

Albums: What Were You Hoping For? by Van Hunt, The Golden Age of the Apocalypse by Thundercat, BBNG by BADBADNOTGOOD

Films: Midnight in Paris, Project Nim, Der Rauber, The Descendants, Buck, Passing Strange

Podcasts: WNYC’s RadioLab, Doug Loves Movies, Never Not Funny

Artists: Marina Ambramovic, Sir Jove, Chad VanGaalen, Cody ChesnuTT, Sun Ra

Bands You May Not Know: whysowhite, Stay At Home Dads, Sir Jove and the UR2, Pinegrove, icewater

Languages: Love, French, Juptarian

Future Frontiers: Space, Your Mind, Medicine, The Internet

Potential Realities: The Age of Aquarius, Aliens, a whysowhite album, Unconditional Love, Christ Consciousness, Ayahuasca

Drinks: Tea, Coffee, Margaritas, Tom Collins

Radio Hosts: Jad Abumrad, Charlie Moonbeam, Pwelbs, Ira Glass, The Bruemaster

Cities: Chicago, Birmingham, Traverse City, Tokyo, Paris

Colors: Blue, Green, Yellow

Sources of Light: fire, ancient spiritual texts

News Stories: Kim Jong-Il’s death, Indigo Children, Chicago Snowpocalypse

Reviewers: Charlie Moonbeam (http://mrmoonbeam.tumblr.com/), PWelbs (http://pwelbs.com/), Anthony Fantano (http://theneedledrop.com/)

Hobbies: Bathing (with epsom salts), Painting, Fearlessness, Nudity

Sexes: Women, Other

Books: Buddha by Osamu Tezuka, Killing Yourself to Live by Chuck Klosterman Be Here Now by Ram Dass, True Love by Thich Nhat Hanh, 

Geniuses: Peter Sloan, Jad Abumrad

Earth Creatures: Children, Animals, Doctors, Scientists

Forms of Education: Experience, Life, Learning to walk, Nature

Authors: Ram Dass, Chuck Klosterman, Thich Nhat Hanh, Dr. Seuss, Kurt Vonnegut

Poets: Hafiz, OM G Love Peace, Matthew Gasda, Mother Nature

Words: Beautiful, Scientist, God, Sun

Things to Look at: eyes

Style Icons: Steve McQueen, Ernest Hemingway, Chet Baker

Punctuation: the parenthesis

Genres of Music: Neo-Classical Architectural Jazz, Hip Hop, Caffeinated Art Rock, Shoegaze

Random Quote I Said Once: ”I’m not trying to shed sunlight on your rain parade here, but….”

Lists Other Than This One: 43 Simple Ways to Simplify Your Life

Angels: Art